Miscellaneous

13 Things Every Couple MUST Avoid Doing in the First Year of Marriage

Divya Arora, 08 May 2019

After your wedding journey, the next overwhelming phase that follows is the first year of your marriage. Aptly believed to be the most essential and crucial year of your married life, this one year especially, is no less than a roller coaster ride for every couple out there.

This new phase of your life brimming with freshness, is a sweet and sour mix of happiness, excitement, and a few issues alike. Which is why it is essential to make the most of this time while learning more about each other with all the love and care.

While there are a few "must do" in the first year of marriage things, there also are a few things that you should not do during this time or at least try your best to avoid them. Being a little considerate and thoughtful about the following behaviours and issues would not only bring about more harmony to your marriage but also a better understanding between the two of you.

So, scroll down below to read about all the things you should not do in the first year of your marriage for a more blissful and easy ride.

Things You Should Not Do in The First Year of Marriage

1. Being too stubborn to adjust or compromise

A blissful marriage or in fact, any relationship requires a lot of adjustments and compromises from both the sides. You can't always have things your way and you both need to compromise as the situation demands. It's important that you learn how to work together as a team doing what's best for you both together as husband and wife and not at individual levels.

2. Fighting dirty without solutions

There will be arguments, there will be issues, there would be anger and there would be resentment but what matters is how you both choose to deal with all of this. Shouting, throwing things, saying things you might regret later should not be your way to deal with issues and arguments. It's always sensible to sit down and talk to come down to a solution that's in the best of your relationship's peace. It's like they say, it's always you two together versus the problem and not you two versus each other.

3. Not discussing finances

A huge part of marriage that needs to be discussed and taken care of is the money. It's essential that it is clear from the beginning as to how you guys would be taking care of the family budget, your savings and your investments. Money is important and knowing how you're going to manage it together is something that you need to pay heed to from the start.

4. Ditching your social life

Of course, now that you're married, that's surely going to change your responsibilities and duties and shift them more towards your partner and their family. But, that doesn't mean that you'll entirely ignore your friendships and social circle. Don't forget to take time out for your friends. Give them a call, catch up with them often and sometimes even take your bae along for it's essential that they gel well with your buds.

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5. Not communicating properly & effectively

Communication is no less than art. Good and effective communication is the key to any peaceful relationship basically. Which is why it is essential that you use this first year of marriage to learn that art of communicating effectively together. Expressing your feelings in the heartiest of ways and putting problems across with thought, compassion and in the best possible way is how you should go about it. Be it hearty conversations, supporting each other or even arguing, learn how to communicate with each other.

6. Taking them for granted

Never take your partner for granted. And that goes not just for the first year of your marriage but basically, always. Appreciate them, pamper them, flirt with them, surprise them, go out on dates but, never take them for granted now that you're married to each other. Of course, things get a tad bit monotonous and boring after some time but, make sure to always put in efforts for your partner to keep that spark alive.

7. Not discussing household responsibilities

Another important aspect after money that you should be clear about from the beginning is the responsibility of your household chores. Who's going to do what and how you're going to manage them with your work should be discussed and made clear at an early stage. Once you start figuring your routine out lay out all that needs to be done and how.

8. Settling into a monotonous routine right away

Settling into a home to work and work to home routine with weekend date nights and tiring weekdays would soon dwindle down the newlywed flame and charm of your relationship. Make spontaneous plans, surprise each other, take those unplanned trips for some adventure. Kill that routine for now 'cuz you can fall into that later.

9. Ignoring each other's circles

When you marry someone you become a part of their life and everything related to them. Even their friends. Which makes it essential that you try and get to know their circle too. Your partner's friends and colleagues are a part of their lives and you mustn't ignore them. Instead, try to get to know and hang out with them. This will surely make your partner feel great about how you are trying to accept every part of their life.

10. Trying to change them

An important thing not to do in the first year of marriage or ever for that matter is trying to change your husband or wife. Love is all about accepting your partner for who they are. As long as it's about habits and behaviours that would make them a better person you must help them in becoming the better version of themselves. But, don't try to change them into becoming someone they are not.

11. Not being forgiving

Love, relationships and marriages come with a lot of forgiveness and you should be willing to forgive your partner for their mistakes instead of holding grudges. They're human and they would make mistakes and it's always up to you to decide if their mistakes are bigger or your love for them. Practice forgiveness and learning from the mistakes that you both commit.

12. Being too self-centred

You can't be selfish in a marriage. A marriage is about both of you and not just about one of you. You both have a different set of beliefs, thoughts, and ways of working around things and you can't always have things your way. Your partner's needs and wants from a marriage could be different than yours and you both have to learn to work around them together instead of thinking about only yourself.

13. Not accepting & constantly cribbing about each other's families

Marriage is not only about accepting your partner but, it is about accepting their families too. You can't always be cribbing about your partner's family and have to be accepting of them despite the differences.

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Let us know if there's something else that you can add to this list!