It’s already hard planning a wedding when you are a “regular-sized” bride, but it’s even harder when there is more of you to love - and hate on. But don’t worry, I am here to equip you with everything you need to know so that your plus-size wedding gets the plus-size praise it deserves.
We can do this without you losing your mind or yourself.
1. Know that Nobody 'really' cares. Keep insecurities at Bay!
First things first, everybody gets criticized. You are not the only one “who needs to lose weight” when wedding season comes around. From your mother to the second-cousin massi, who you've never met - all the ladies (and men) are freaking out about your big fat Indian wedding. During my wedding, a friend got liposuction and skipped my bachelorette party because she wanted to “impress in her selfies”. So, yeah. People are losing their mind with insecurity and firing harsh comments left-right and centre. It’s not you, it’s them.
2. Give deaf ears to Criticism
But just because there are insecurity, criticism and body-shaming in the air, it doesn’t mean you have to put up with it. I repeat, expect it but you don’t have to put up with it. I shut down everyone from my mother to the shopkeeper who called me “healthy”, because if you can’t accept me for who I am, then you can’t participate in my wedding or have my business as a vendor.
3. Believe in the phrase, "Every cloud has a silver lining"
Speaking of vendors, it’s not easy being plus-size and finding the perfect wedding designers for you. But it’s also not impossible. This is where I separated the classy from the massy and went to designers like Masaba who understand that one-size-does-not-fit-all. You don’t want the Alia Bhatt to knock off or the next best thing trending on Instagram. You want an original that hugs your curves, highlights the best and abandon whatever makes you lose your beauty sleep at night.
4. Don't let them control your choices
Listen, I know us plus-girls can’t just walk into a bridal store and try things on, but it’s not because we need to change. It’s because the Indian market hasn’t caught on that they need to. Also, if they charge for “extra fabric”, just leave. addon
Now that we have surpassed before the wedding blues, let's discuss the during!
1. Don't be too harsh on yourself & focus on being happy and moreover being yourself
During the wedding, it’s important to note that all bets are off. Now that you are a bride it doesn’t matter whether you are plus-size or a size zero. Everyone is going to have unflattering photo angles, some form of body fat peeping out of their mid-riff, (I mean who decided a crop top and a heavy skirt are the best options for a wedding dress anyway?), and makeup will be melting everywhere! At the end all that matters is you being happy and perky, enjoying your special day to the fullest.
2. Being a bride, it's normal to hype about your shape which is not equal to deep self-analysis
Actually, if I look back, even though I did some form of exercise and diet to be my best plump self for my big day, my neighbour who looks like Shraddha Kapoor did way more for her wedding.
Maybe it’s not just the plus size girls - expect everyone to be on the same playing field of deep self-analysis for once. Being a bride does that to people.
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3. Do Not entertain people who are only talking about your size and giving you vague tips to get in shape.
Regardless of being “regular-sized” or “plus size”, we are all going to have one or five relatives and a small evil voice in our head wanting us to change in some way. “Get smaller, get lighter, be quicker, be more traditional - be something else”, it and they will say. But as dorky as this may sound, you have to remind yourself to just be yourself.
4. Expect backbiting but don't let them win at the cost of your peace
I say yes to expecting commentary, advice, everyone’s two cents and your own mind sometimes working against you. But I say no to letting all those negative things win. At the end of the day, people will not just remember or praise how you looked.
"They will remember how you radiated with confidence and planned everything with love."
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Article by Guest Contributor - Ruku Taneja