As a country, India is over-populated. And Indians are over-connected. Which means we’ve each attended more weddings in a year than the average American would attend in their lifetime (that’s a totally made-up statistic but sounds about right, doesn’t it?)
While we LOVE weddings (have you seen some of the insane Real Weddings we’ve featured on this blog?!) there are some things even us die-hard wedding fanatics are sick of. Of course, the 2-hour long baraat is the first thing that comes to everyone’s mind. But there are 7 things literally every Indian is tired of experiencing, and we’re finally SAYING IT!
Oh.My.God. You can be a family of professional choreographers, and it still won’t justify you tying your guests to their chairs for such a long show. 50 minutes is also a hard sell, but once it starts crossing the 1-hour mark, your guests are getting annoyed. Trust us. One way to solve this is capping the number of performances or limiting the duration of each act (no more than 90 seconds!) and ask the anchors to prepare what they’re going to say in advance!
Ew. Whether the woman is single or not, she’s not interested in you, especially this desperate version of your maybe-otherwise-nice-self. Keep yourself in check, and your alcohol consumption too.
There’s always that female guest who attends weddings over-decked to the extent where everyone’s left wondering who the bride is! It’s still a smaller crime if they mistake you for the sister of the bride, but OTT is a big N-O. Save it for your own big day!
Chalo, you want to dance on your brother’s baraat for 2 hours. No one wants to see it, and all the girls are dying in their heels, but go ahead, do it. BUT for the love of God, start the baraat at 6 pm! When you assemble outside the venue at 9 pm, and then enter at 11 pm, do you even know what your action has done?! 80% of the guests have waited, eaten dinner, waited, passed the gifts to the bride’s cousin, and left. Thanks a lot.
Now the bride will come out in her perfectly curated (and expensive!) bridal avatar that she spent months fretting over to a crowd of 30 people? She will exchange the jaimaal with her future husband in front of a handful of guests, and be greeted by...no one. The parents of the bride and groom barely meet anyone, and it gets embarrassing for all host parties involved...do I really need to go on? STOP IT!
Why-oh-why can’t we find a better or different tune to play during jaimaal? It’s always that shankh & seep tune, and it’s time to add a modern flavour to this tradition! When we can have fresh music for bridal entries, why not for the jaimaal too?
For reasons ranging from health to the fact that we’re moving towards nuclear set ups, 1 kg mithai between 4 members of the house is wayyy too much. And those huge boxes to house your massive card? It’s just more kabadi for us to get rid off :( Either get a reusable, sturdy one made or opt for a no-box option. PLEASE!
While the pastel cycle is still SO pretty that we argued about putting it on this list, guys - there are multiple problems with this trinity of props. They’re so overdone already and honestly, no one’s doing any innovative posing with these, they’re all just awkwardly trying to figure out what the hell to do!